Summary: Kurt isn’t sure what he’s gotten himself into when he sees an adorable boy across the way. He’s certainly not his style. Kurt was a skank, he didn’t associate with bowtie wearing dorks…but somehow, that smile drew Kurt in. What is it about this blind boy that has Kurt letting his walls down?
Kurt hadn’t been avoiding him.
Sure, if he saw him in the halls or in class Kurt was turn and run in the other direction. And sure, Kurt had strategically avoided that tree out in the courtyard in case he went back there to eat lunch. And yeah, Kurt may have skipped school all together the next day. But he wasn’t avoiding him. He wasn’t.
…ok maybe he was.
Kurt wasn’t sure what it was about him, the Boy with the Laser Pointer. It’s not like he was a bad guy. He was kind, he was sweet, he was…comfortable. That was the perfect word for it. He was comfortable. Comfortable with his blindness, with the world around him, with his life, with himself.
Kurt couldn’t fathom it. How could someone…someone so…so not normal be so comfortable with themselves? How could he be so happy and perky when there was something so major wrong in his life? How could he not feel any of the things Kurt feels on a daily basis? How could he not feel out of place, abnormal, wrong? How could he not feel any of the things Kurt felt on a daily basis when he had so much more wrong with him than Kurt did?
Hey, hey. He’s not not-normal, there’s nothing wrong with him! Part of him admonished, and immediately he felt slightly ashamed for the thought.
Oh please, another voice said. You know it’s true. He’s blind.
Kurt shook his head violently, trying to shake the thoughts away. Deep down, he knew there was nothing wrong with Blaine. He was just…different. Blind. And what was Kurt? He was a fuck up. He was a freak. He didn’t even have the sympathy factor Blaine had.
That’s probably a good thing, Kurt thought, you don’t want anyone’s pity.
Who says Blaine wants it?
Kurt was getting really sick of this war going on in his head.
The point was, he wasn’t sure he liked the way Blaine made him…made him feel, made him actually think about himself. He hadn’t analyzed himself like this in a long time. Not since he first joined the skanks.
Kurt used his fashion and his attitude to push people away. He didn’t like being hurt. And sure he had his friends, the skanks, and his family (his dad, step mom, and brother). But it was just…he’d been hurt so much in his life. His mother. The bullies. Society. He’d been hurt by so many people. He didn’t want to be hurt anymore.
So instead he did the hurting.
He put up walls. He acted like a bitch. He wore clothes and makeup that made people shy away or cross the street when he came stomping. He didn’t want people to get too close. Kurt knew how he was with people. He’d throw his whole self into a relationship. He’d put everything in, all his time, all his hopes, all his thoughts. And then he’d be crushed. Forever burned for another day to come. Kurt hadn’t wanted to get close to anyone for a long time. He didn’t let himself even want it, let alone do it. He wasn’t going to get hurt again.
But then there was Blaine.
Blaine was so wonderful and sweet and open. He didn’t care that he was blind, he just bounced around with that dumb smile on his face. He didn’t judge. He couldn’t judge, he had no idea what Kurt looked like, he was completely unaware of all the things that scared everyone else away.
Kurt could be completely himself with Blaine. Or he could be someone completely new.
The thought excited Kurt.
It terrified him.
He had no idea how he should handle this kind of power, this kind of freedom. Who should he be? Who did he want to be? He’d put up this persona for so long he had no idea who was the real Kurt and who was the imposter. He had no idea who he used to be or who he could be. He just…was.
Kurt was so scared of not being who Blaine would want. What if Blaine found out he was a skank, a freak? What if he shied away from Kurt’s touch instead of holding on for every possible second? What if Kurt wasn’t good enough for him?
God, you’re not even friends yet you fucking idiot! Kurt screamed at himself, you can’t lose someone you don’t even have!
Kurt shook all the stupid thoughts from his head. Just don’t even think about him, he told himself. If you just forget about him he’ll make a life and other friends and it won’t matter. You don’t matter.
But as Kurt filed through these depressing thoughts, he rounded a corner in the hallway and stopped dead at what he saw.
Kurt wasn’t sure what had happened, but there was a few bigger guys (Kurt recognized them as jocks that usually gave him trouble) walking away, loudly laughing at some thing or another. But that wasn’t what made Kurt stop dead. It was the way a certain Boy with a Laser Pointer was leaning heavily into the lockers, head down, hands shaking.
Without a thought, Kurt went barreling towards Blaine. “What’s wrong?” Kurt asked, and tried to ignore the way Blaine jumped a little at Kurt’s voice. “It’s Kurt. Blaine, what happened?” That was when Kurt noticed Blaine’s earpiece was in place, but his laser pointer was nowhere to be seen. “Did they take your…thing?” Kurt asked before Blaine could answer his first question. Blaine nodded jerkily, not saying anything still.
A sudden anger filled Kurt. But not the normal anger he felt. Not the anger he always had inside him due to the injustices of the world, not the anger he felt for all the bad things that have happened to him and been done to him. No, this was a different kind of anger.
This was rage.
A fire had lit inside of Kurt and the flames were licking away angrily, growing higher and higher the more the situation really registered. A group of jocks, all double Blaine’s size, stole his walking laser stick thing, the thing Blaine used to get around because. He’s. BLIND.
Without a thought Kurt found himself barreling down the hall, after the jocks, bellowing violent swear words and threats of dismemberment. He managed to tackle one to the ground before anyone even knew what was going on. He got in a few hard punches to the face before the others pulled him off. At this point a giant crowd had formed but Kurt didn’t care, he was still thrashing, swearing violently.
“What the fuck is wrong with you, freak?” One of the jocks asked, looking genuinely shocked and even a little concerned about Kurt’s outburst.
“What’s wrong with me?! What’s wrong with you?!” He managed to scream once his thoughts formed actual sentences once again. “You just stole from a blind person!”
At that realization hit the jocks, “That’s what you’re flipping out about. What the fuck, homo?”
Before Kurt could give another response, a loud booming Hey! echoed down the hall and suddenly Coach Beiste was at their side. Suddenly the crowd disappeared as if rebuffed by a magnet. “What the hell is going on here?!” She demanded as Kurt jerked himself free from the jocks’ hold.
“Hummel just went batshit!” The jock on the floor cried defensively, sitting up as he pressed his hand over his bloody nose.
“That’s bullshit!” Kurt spit, advancing forward. The jock actually jumped back, looking kind of scared. Beiste’s hand pressed into Kurt’s chest, holding him back. Kurt looked up to her before she could say anything and said, “They stole from Blaine!”
Beiste paused for a moment, “Anderson?” She asked, an odd look filling her eye, and Kurt nodded. “What did you take?” She demanded, turning to the other jocks.
“We didn’t-” One of them started to deny, but at the harsh looks from both Kurt and Beiste, he relented. “We just took his laser pointer thing.” He mumbled, his friend holding up the device. Beiste snatched it from his hand, handing it to Kurt.
“You know it’s a walking stick don’t you?” She asked, “Would you steal a wheelchair from a paralyzed kid?” And Kurt already knew they’d done that before, which made him sick to his stomach. At their lack of response, Beiste looked even angrier. “Kurt,” She said suddenly, “Detention with me after school.” What else is new? Kurt thought, completely uncaring about the punishment. “The rest of you, with me.”
The jocks glared at Kurt as Beiste led them away towards Figgins’ office, but he didn’t care. He now had what he’d come for, and once they were no longer within glaring distance, Kurt caught his breath and rushed back to where he’d left Blaine.
He found Blaine awkwardly feeling the lockers, slowly trying to make his way down the hall. Kurt’s heart dropped at the sight. “Blaine,” He said softly, and the teen didn’t jump this time, he just looked up. “I have your laser pointer.” He stepped forward and placed it in Blaine’s hands, holding his hands over Blaine’s for a moment before letting go.
Blaine stood frozen for a moment, before raising his head up to Kurt’s eye level. His thumb rubbed his device deliberately. “I—I heard yelling.” He said after a moment, “Did you fight them?” Kurt paused, looking down to his raw knuckles.
“Well, uh, I may have punched one of them…repeatedly.”
To Kurt’s surprise, Blaine let out a laugh, “Seriously?” Kurt nodded, realizing Blaine couldn’t see it, and quickly let out a noise of affirmation. “You did that for me?”
Kurt paused, raising an eyebrow, “Why wouldn’t I have?”
It was Blaine’s turn to make an incredulous face, “Well, you haven’t talked to me in days.”
Kurt’s eyes widened, Blaine had noticed? “Well—I—I’ve been skipping school.” He lied quickly. But from the look on Blaine’s face, Kurt knew he knew it was a lie.
But surprisingly, Blaine didn’t call him on it. Instead he pointed his laser pointer at the ground and began to walk as if nothing had happened, as if he hadn’t been seemingly having a panic attack and then Kurt went apeshit on those jocks.
“Oh, good.” He said instead, “I was worried you weren’t ready for this jelly.”
Kurt froze, shocked, before he forced a laugh. “But aren’t you the one who doesn’t use jelly?”
“Damn, you’ve got me there.”
Kurt continued to walk with Blaine, unsure where the other teen was going or why he was going with him. But once again, Kurt was drawn to him. Being away from Blaine, Kurt had been sure it wouldn’t be that big a deal to just ignore him, forget him. But as soon as he was back at his side, it was like magic. Kurt knew he wanted to be near Blaine, he needed to be near Blaine.
Blaine turned and gave Kurt a soft smile, but Kurt could see the mask in place there. And that was when Kurt realized, Blaine had walls just like Kurt. He had just as many issues as Kurt did. And suddenly, Kurt knew he had no choice here.
“Yup, I got you.”
More like he has me.